49 Funny Marriage Memes That Range from Cute and Happy to Downright Scary

Finding that perfect someone, getting married, and living a happy life together is a dream for many; however, marriage is not for everyone and many people prefer being the master of their own domain. When it comes to expressing what marriages are all about, funny marriage memes often get it right.

When half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s an even bigger reason to celebrate with your husband or wife if you’re happily married. Whether you’re contemplating tying the know or are married and enjoying every moment, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the following 49 memes!

1) Let the marriage memes begin!

49 Marriage Memes - "A woman's ear when...Husband is on the phone."

“A woman’s ear when…Husband is on the phone.”

2) Happy marriage memes are about sharing chores.

49 Marriage Memes - "[Married sext] Wife: What are you wearing? Me: Just my underwear. Wife: So you still haven't done the laundry? Me: No I have not."

“[Married sext] Wife: What are you wearing? Me: Just my underwear. Wife: So you still haven’t done the laundry? Me: No I have not.”

3)

49 Marriage Memes - "You already ate yours! Go away!"

“You already ate yours! Go away!”

4) Funny marriage memes are a team effort.

49 Marriage Memes - "Me and my husband pretending to be surprised when the babysitter tells us our kid wasn't good."

“Me and my husband pretending to be surprised when the babysitter tells us our kid wasn’t good.”

5) Heavy snoring all ends in bad marriage memes.

49 Marriage Memes - "Has anyone else noticed when his snoring got 'Extra' bad, his wife left him?"

“Has anyone else noticed when his snoring got ‘Extra’ bad, his wife left him?”

6) Marriage memes can get just as complicated.

49 Marriage Memes - "Asked my wife where eye drops were: 'In the bedroom on the tv stand under the lightswitch slightly trapped between the wall."

“Asked my wife where eye drops were: ‘In the bedroom on the tv stand under the lightswitch slightly trapped between the wall.”

7) Happy marriage memes mean being comfortable.

49 Marriage Memes - "Before and after marriage."

“Before and after marriage.”

8) Funny marriage memes featuring tweets are the best.

49 Marriage Memes - "I didn't even know it was possible to argue about a topic you agree on until I got married."

“I didn’t even know it was possible to argue about a topic you agree on until I got married.”

9)

49 Marriage Memes - "This the look your girl gives you every time a guy does something romantic on tv."

“This the look your girl gives you every time a guy does something romantic on tv.”

10)

49 Marriage Memes - "Me: Exhausted and 15 seconds from falling asleep. My wife: Would you stay with me if we woke up tomorrow and my arms and legs were gone?"

“Me: Exhausted and 15 seconds from falling asleep. My wife: Would you stay with me if we woke up tomorrow and my arms and legs were gone?”

11) Creepy marriage memes!

"Wife said I could decorate the guest bathroom. Help Me."

“Wife said I could decorate the guest bathroom. Help Me.”

12) Is that a gun? Marriage memes can get a little dangerous!

"Hey, Bill! So, how's the married life treating you? Oh, you know! I can't complain!"

“Hey, Bill! So, how’s the married life treating you? Oh, you know! I can’t complain!”

13) Cute marriage memes for him.

"Wife: Where are you. Me: The store. Wife: Don't lie to me. Me: Wh-. Wife: I saw the internet history. Me: *hangs up*. Pet wolf. Pet wolf worst-case scenario. Buy wolf. Catch wolf. How fast are wolves? How fast am I? How can I be faster? Wolf catching device. Wolf net? Can I ride a wolf? Wolf saddle. Map to forests with wolves."

“Wife: Where are you. Me: The store. Wife: Don’t lie to me. Me: Wh-. Wife: I saw the internet history. Me: *hangs up*. Pet wolf. Pet wolf worst-case scenario. Buy wolf. Catch wolf. How fast are wolves? How fast am I? How can I be faster? Wolf catching device. Wolf net? Can I ride a wolf? Wolf saddle. Map to forests with wolves.”

14)

"My husband and I keep the spark alive by watching spousal murder shows together and criticizing the idiots who get caught."

“My husband and I keep the spark alive by watching spousal murder shows together and criticizing the idiots who get caught.”

15) Do not disturb me while I read marriage memes.

"I am married. Do not disturb. I am already very disturbed."

“I am married. Do not disturb. I am already very disturbed.”

16) These marriage memes are pretty accurate.

"When I'm up first and she's asleep. When she's up first and I'm asleep."

“When I’m up first and she’s asleep. When she’s up first and I’m asleep.”

17)

"Me when my husband is being a little too nice to me...He did something..."

“Me when my husband is being a little too nice to me…He did something…”

18) Cute marriage memes.

"Marriage is just texting each other funny memes from different rooms."

“Marriage is just texting each other funny memes from different rooms.”

19)

"Husband: I need your credit card to buy something off Amazon. Me: I have it memorized, ready? Husband: WHAT?! Me. What."

“Husband: I need your credit card to buy something off Amazon. Me: I have it memorized, ready? Husband: WHAT?! Me. What.”

20) Mad marriage memes.

"Lord, grant me the strength to open this jar without the aid of my husband, who I'm currently mad at."

“Lord, grant me the strength to open this jar without the aid of my husband, who I’m currently mad at.”

21) Happy marriage memes that only married people will understand.

"Love is spending the rest of your life with someone who makes you nuts and you just want to kill them but you don't...because you can't imagine life without them."

“Love is spending the rest of your life with someone who makes you nuts and you just want to kill them but you don’t…because you can’t imagine life without them.”

22) Marriage memes be like…

"Married life be like...Talk dirty to me. I'm not wearing any underwear because you never put the f***ing laundry in the f***ing dryer as I asked you to 100 f***ing times."

“Married life be like…Talk dirty to me. I’m not wearing any underwear because you never put the f***ing laundry in the f***ing dryer as I asked you to 100 f***ing times.”

23) But reading marriage memes is pure excitement.

"Married life is pure excitement...Ham expires on the 22nd."

“Married life is pure excitement…Ham expires on the 22nd.”

24) Good advice from marriage memes.

"Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed."

“Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.”

25) Funny marriage memes for him.

"Me as a wife."

“Me as a wife.”

26)

"Me: I need at least 30 minutes to get ready. Husband: Just put a hat on. Me:"

“Me: I need at least 30 minutes to get ready. Husband: Just put a hat on. Me:”

27) Cute marriage memes for cat lovers.

"Me: *makes a stupid face*. Me: Would you still love me if I looked like this? Him: No. Me:"

“Me: *makes a stupid face*. Me: Would you still love me if I looked like this? Him: No. Me:”

28)

"70% if marriage is informing your spouse what you cleaned that day. 'Did you see I did the dishes?' 'I did. Did you see I cleaned the living room? Like, I didn't clean it all the way but you can definitely see I worked on it.' 'Yeah. You can't tell but I did some laundry.'"

“70% if marriage is informing your spouse what you cleaned that day. ‘Did you see I did the dishes?’ ‘I did. Did you see I cleaned the living room? Like, I didn’t clean it all the way but you can definitely see I worked on it.’ ‘Yeah. You can’t tell but I did some laundry.'”

29) Cute marriage memes are instantly relatable.

"My husband and I having a stare off over who deserves to be more tired."

“My husband and I having a stare off over who deserves to be more tired.”

30)

"Me as a husband: Stop pooping. I miss you."

“Me as a husband: Stop pooping. I miss you.”

31) Funny marriage memes make me laugh!

"I only do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do."

“I only do what the voices in my wife’s head tell her to tell me to do.”

32)

"Me: *parallel parking*. Husband: *visibly aging*."

“Me: *parallel parking*. Husband: *visibly aging*.”

33)

"The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences. She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too."

“The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences. She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.”

34)

"Me, when my husband picks out our kids' clothes."

“Me, when my husband picks out our kids’ clothes.”

35)

"Please hide packages from the husband."

“Please hide packages from the husband.”

36) Romantic marriage memes?

"Romantic good morning texts between me and my husband: That's you f***ing snoring."

“Romantic good morning texts between me and my husband: That’s you f***ing snoring.”

37)

"I see people getting married to people they've known for like a year and a half. A year and a half? Is that really enough time to get to know someone you want to spend the <a href=

“I see people getting married to people they’ve known for like a year and a half. A year and a half? Is that really enough time to get to know someone you want to spend the REST of your life with? I mean, I’ve had sweaters for a year and a half…and I was like, ‘What the f*** was I doing with this sweater?!'”

38)

"Me: I'm so excited to go to bed! *strips off and jumps into bed*. Husband: Ohhhh yeah... Me: IT'S CLEAN SHEET DAY!!! Husband *sigh*."

“Me: I’m so excited to go to bed! *strips off and jumps into bed*. Husband: Ohhhh yeah… Me: IT’S CLEAN SHEET DAY!!! Husband *sigh*.”

39)

"Sometimes I think my husband isn't actually pooping. He's just waiting for the kids to grow up and move out."

“Sometimes I think my husband isn’t actually pooping. He’s just waiting for the kids to grow up and move out.”

40)

"Still embarrassing their kids after 41 years of marriage: Museum of @$$."

“Still embarrassing their kids after 41 years of marriage: Museum of @$$.”

41)

"10 things longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage. #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage was a top trending topic on Twitter yesterday. Here are 10 of the best entries: 1) Her sex tape. 2) The NBA lockout. 3) Planning Kim's wedding. 4) That pause that Dora the Explorer does when she asks us a question. 5) Michael Jordan's baseball career. 6) Justin Bieber's chest hair. 7) Licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 8) The 2011 East Coast earthquake. 9) An iPhone battery. 10) Minute Rice."

“10 things longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage was a top trending topic on Twitter yesterday. Here are 10 of the best entries: 1) Her sex tape. 2) The NBA lockout. 3) Planning Kim’s wedding. 4) That pause that Dora the Explorer does when she asks us a question. 5) Michael Jordan’s baseball career. 6) Justin Bieber’s chest hair. 7) Licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 8) The 2011 East Coast earthquake. 9) An iPhone battery. 10) Minute Rice.”

42) Marriage memes featuring texts…

"Thank you for putting up with me last night. I was being a beast, and I appreciate your kindness. You are an amazing partner and I'm lucky you like me. I wasn't that kind. I hit you with a pillow until you stopped crying. It's what I needed at the time."

“Thank you for putting up with me last night. I was being a beast, and I appreciate your kindness. You are an amazing partner and I’m lucky you like me. I wasn’t that kind. I hit you with a pillow until you stopped crying. It’s what I needed at the time.”

43)

"Evil villain: I'll destroy the world unless you give me 32,000 used gift bags you've kept in a closet just in case, muahahaha. Everyone: Oh no we're doomed. My wife: Hold my wine."

“Evil villain: I’ll destroy the world unless you give me 32,000 used gift bags you’ve kept in a closet just in case, muahahaha. Everyone: Oh no we’re doomed. My wife: Hold my wine.”

44) Marriage memes for puppy lovers!

"Wife: Just stick to the grocery list. Me: I am. Wife: Nothing but what's on the list. Me: [crossing fingers] I promise."

“Wife: Just stick to the grocery list. Me: I am. Wife: Nothing but what’s on the list. Me: [crossing fingers] I promise.”

45)

"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of biblical advice: 'Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.' While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothin-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz."

“To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of biblical advice: ‘Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.’ While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothin-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz.”

46)

"Wife told me this license plate reminded her of me: 2HR POO."

“Wife told me this license plate reminded her of me: 2HR POO.”

47) Oh no! We’ve almost reached the end of funny marriage memes…

"If you are single, picture what you think marriage is like. Wrong. You are both in Home Depot arguing over a light fixture."

“If you are single, picture what you think marriage is like. Wrong. You are both in Home Depot arguing over a light fixture.”

48)

"When my husband tries using a back rub to trick me into sex."

“When my husband tries using a back rub to trick me into sex.”

49)

"Me watching my husband quietly close the dishwasher after taking just one clean dish out."

“Me watching my husband quietly close the dishwasher after taking just one clean dish out.”

I hope you enjoyed these funny marriage memes!

 hope you enjoyed these funny marriage memes!
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